by Roland King

12-8-00 There are people who would have you think the men on death row are the most hated people alive. The people who perpetuate this are themselves more of a prisoner than the people than the people they hate. Advocate of such hate are not able to feel the freedom that comes with love. Their entire life is taken up is taken up with finding ways to inflict punishment rather than using this time to show their families what love is all about. They would rather inflict punishment on someone than take a child to the ice cream parlor for a treat. Given a choice between the two I guarantee they would opt for the punishment. These people will never know the lasting love that pass between people in a loving family. Every time a family member or so called friend does something for them they will drive themselves crazy trying to figure out what the do gooders want from them. It is a shame they will not be able to accept true love when it is given.

Just remember that God says he will accept us all, and he did not say you would have to be approved by such people before you can be saved. Your road is direct to God not and there is no detour through their hearts first. It is you people who have loved ones that offer unconditional love. That is something that can never be taken away from you. Hold your heads up and show thee people what life and love are all about. It is possible for them to learn yet.

12-9-00 When a person is on death row waiting to be killed the general population have a need to feel they are beasts with no normal emotions and no one who cares if they live or die. They feel a person with normal emotions should not be murdered so this person has to be a beast.

The main job of the reporters is to perpetuate that myth in their coverage. You will notice if there is a picture published of the inmate it is always the worse one ever taken of them. The picture must never in any way depict them as being normal. I have seen one picture of my son.many times and even now if I didn't know who it was I would not recognize it. The media must have had long hours to decide which one was the worse and now that it has been selected no more picture are necessary.

You will find no references to the many letters from his teachers saying what a nice and polite son I have, a boy they are proud to have in their class. They call me for an interview and as soon as I say I love my son the interview is over. He is not supposed to have any redeeming virtues.

All I can say is let them continue with their screwed up coverage at I know the real person.

12-19-00 I had my Christmas with my son today. From 8:30 AM until 10:30 AM I was permitted to visit with my son on Death row to celebrate the birth of the Christmas Child. We were able to get some pretty good food out of the vending machines. I am permitted to get the food and the guard has it delivered to my son on the other side of the glass. Yes I have had better times but at least I was able to be with him for a while and in a fashion. No visitors are allowed on Holidays so this is the best time for us to at least see each other during the holidays. He is allowed 1 visit per week and when I got back home I had messages from some of his friends that they want to take up the next few weeks in visits. That is good because he needs to be able to look through that glass and see someone else besides me part of the time.

The worse part of it all is that I am still not able to have contact visits so I can touch this son I love so much.

There are people in my hometown that will tell you that I don't deserve to touch my son. These same people are constantly going around telling everyone who will listen what great Christians they are. In fact I get the idea they will not be judged on resurrection day because they are above any thing like that. I wonder what it is like being that perfect. I guess I will never know. When the media was around they were quick to say that it would be great for us to meet and be able to sit down and talk about our troubles. and be able to put our animosity behind and go forward in life as Christians should be able to do. After things settled down I did send a message to that effect, but now that they had nothing to gain by this I received word we had nothing to talk about. I guess if I would notify the media and go to them on my knees begging them to speak to me it could have been done, but that will never happen. I am a proud human being with absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. After some of the things that have happened they have as much reason to ask God for help as I do. It would be nice if we could pray together but I guess that too will never happen. I will continue to include them in my prayers.